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Start with any one of the list you feel like because there are so many different ways and it’s important that you, alone choose the ways you like best. To be real and authentic you need to make the journey along your chosen path, at your own pace, climbing up your own awareness hill not my hill or anyone else’s hill.

Be more in touch with your authentic emotions (all of them) Hiding or blocking them so other people can’t see them hides your real self from them and from you too. Click here

Accept your vulnerability - it’s part of reality. Blocking it blocks your authenticity and limits intimacy. Click here

Open Communication and naming the elephant in the room click here

Be more aware of your boundaries.  How well are they working for you? Can you adjust them? Real authentic people have strong but flexible boundaries that work for them. Click here

Be a unique one-off special individual. “Be yourself….  All the other others have been taken” (Oscar Wilde) and be proud of what it is that makes you unique. Reveal your special character to others. “Know why you are in the room”. (Denis Lehane author of Mystic river). Don’t follow the crowd. Click here  (to be added)

Understand both your personal and impersonal sides. Together they compliment your authentic character At different times you need more of one, less of the other and you need to know how to adjust both to fit each situation. Click here  

Embrace your reality. It’s your personal property. It will be accurate most of the time, but if it’s a bit off sometimes doesn’t mean anyone else should be allowed to tell you their reality is any better. Usually theirs will be at least as out of touch as yours. The opposite of reality is denial. Click here  (to be added)

Understand what's really going with Power and Control because those two factors are at work inside you, outside you and all around you all the time. If you don’t see them clearly you can’t be real. Worse, without your noticing what’s happening, other people can be taking power and control from you, stealing your sense of being who you really are. Click here  (to be added)

Real people use forward thinking. They Prepare, they plan ahead, looking more at where they are going, less time looking in the rear view mirror to see there they have been. (That’s useful only if looking back helps us learn lessons we can use in the future) Click here

Communicate openly. This is a learned skill that helps other people who are also real and authentic to connect more closely with the real you. That helps you build better contacts with everybody else as well. Click here  (to be added)

Work every day with your six key life skills. You like everybody else have them but how well do you use them?  Click here

Embrace change as a positive part of life. Change that enhances growth is positive. Growing to become more real means making positive changes. Click here  (to be added)

Are you still stuck with a belief that most power and control exists outside of you. True when you are a kid. Not true now. Check inside. If that old belief is still there, learn how to reject it. Read the next paragraph about how most real power exists inside you.  Click here  (to be added)

How strong are your feelings and your beliefs that you have lots of power, the ability to ‘make things happen’ to ‘get things done’, not just occasionally but regularly. And, they get done the way you want  them done, when you want them done and usually by the people you wanted to do those things. That’s a measure of how strongly you hold to the real truth about you that most real power exists inside you.  Click here

Understand the important difference between being the real you and only doing real things. Doing is an important part of life but it doesn’t define who we are or what we are really being. Click here  (to be added)

Learn to work with Energetic Balance. Opposites exist in every aspect of our life. Embracing them consciously and balancing them adds to your sense of reality. Ignoring one or the other side can lead to problems. Click here  (to be added)

Love and Protect your Inner child. Real authentic people talk with, love and protect their precious inner child. Click here  (to be added)



How do you grow your  real self?

Here are some keys. Each one will open a different door for you. Think of the list below as your personal menu. Each one can help you become more real, but in different ways. There is no set sequence or order.