Being the Real me Starting Point  Reading Important areas - separate sections Search this site Site Map

DISCLAIMER: Growing Awareness Pty Ltd as publishers of this web-site and John Bligh Nutting do not dispense or recommend medical or psychiatric advice, nor prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for any diagnosable medical or psychiatric conditions. Any such action should only be taken either directly or indirectly on the advice of a physician or a qualified therapist.

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What is it about Being the Real me?

There are many reasons, some valid, why people may choose to spend their lives trying to avoid discovering too much about their well hidden real self.

So if you aren't too excited about starting on this incredible journey, then this may be the right time to log out. I wouldn’t want to get you involved in something that would only end in discomfort.

Becoming more Authentic  More Real

However there are others who at some point in their lives realise that their true authentic self remains somewhere lost or trapped inside, hidden by comfortable masks, held down by other people’s rules, usually from childhood.  

If you are one of those people, welcome!. Provided you have the courage to break away from those old clamps and blockages, rules and restrictions then you and I can work together to take you to the place you have already dreamed of, a place where you can at last be your real me.

The old masks will remain in the background because there are times in our lives when we still need them. But so much of the time you can safely drop them and be yourself.

One restriction - This is do-it-yourself work.

My notes can guide you, show you how, get you started, share my experiences, but I can’t actually do the climb for you.

Think of me as a conductor, waving my baton, my notes are a bit like your sheet music, but you alone can play your own instrument to produce magical changes in your life.

Interested? Then let’s get started

On this website

Step 1 - Work with your real Emotional Age

The more aware you are of your constantly changing Emotional ages EA the more personal power you have and the less anyone else can take your power. That’s a big step forward in becoming the real you. I recommend this as the best place to start but it takes some explaining. So it’s in a separate section

Click here to go to Emotional Age Power

Step 2. Understand more about your Vulnerability

Most of us are constantly facing vulnerability issues. The more you work with these the more real you are.

Click here to go to the pages about Vulnerability

Step 3   Prepare and Protect Yourself

The next step is to look at how your real authentic self has been taken from you both now and in the past by other people who didn’t want you to enjoy the power of being the real authentic you.

One of the most common problems are people who try to Control you. Amongst the worst are the ones who “sling Control-MUD” to undermine you and disempower you. Click here to find out more about how to Protect yourself and also Prepare your self in advance before they get started.

Did this start in your childhood? A separate section on AdverseChildhood experiences or ACEs including a survey. Click here  Adverse Childhood Experiences ACE

Part 4  Growing your Real Authentic self Step by Step

The central part of this website Go to ‘Reading” There are more than 14 pages here. It’s your personal menu for you to choose which ways you like best.  Click here for the list of topics

Do you sometimes feel your true self missing, lost or trapped, hidden behind masks, held down by your past or other people’s rules.
This website honours our struggle to be who we really are. It started when you and I were little, happened again as  teenagers, then as grown ups, and again right up to today.

Yes I am still struggling but I’m winning lots more now than I used to. As a kid, I struggled with a narcissistic parent who tried so hard to take me down. Somehow I managed to hang on to the main parts of me, but at a price. My struggle continued when I grew up,with people at work, partners, friends.

For each of us it never ends because someone is always trying to get us to be the person they want us to be, do the things they want us to do, their way, but we must never give up.

Are you ready now, to continue your struggle and be more and more your real me again and again?

This website includes the stories from  some of the people I know from around the World and the ways they are winning the struggle.

What can you do to improve your chances of winning the next round? There’s lots of information here as I share what I have learned and what other people from around the World have found that works for them.


On this site - every page is Free to copy

Please feel free to copy any of this material for your own use.

Here are some of the main sections - You can either go to the linked pages below by clicking on each blue link or from the Navigation Bar at the top of each page

Being the real me - Introduction

Getting Real - Step by Step  How to become  More Real - a useful menu but you need to choose for yourself

Main Sections

Real feelings Click here

Forward Thinking    click here

Your Vulnerability is real - embrace it, manage it  Click here

Open Communication and naming the elephant in the room click here

Other sections (sorry, these pages still to be added)

Boundaries are essential  (not yet coming soon)

Being a unique one-off special person is a joy (coming soon)

Power and Control explained (coming soon)

Balancing opposites (coming soon)

Balancing Being you and what you are Doing (not the same) (coming soon)

Making Things happen makes you more real (coming soon)

How you make changes Choices and options while you stay in your power (coming soon)

Six key Life skills we all have (and keep forgetting to use) (coming soon)

Special sections

Originally these were separate websites. Each one is made up of many pages. The same pages are included here but each one is a separate linked sub-domain with its own address.

The more aware you are of Emotional Age issues the more real you become and the more truly Powerful you are.

Go to sub-domain

Prepare and Protect yourself from other people who try to control you by Undermining and Unbalancing you, or trying to Manipulate you.

Go to sub-domain

What happened in your childhood or teens that prevented you becoming the real you?  What kind of ACEs, that’s Adverse Childhood Experiences did you have?  What is your ACE score?  Ask for a free printable pdf copy of the ACE survey.

To find out more  click here

Old Core Beliefs are usually negative and are a major blockage that will stop you being real. This is my oldest website going back to 1997. Ask for my Free Core Belief Balancing book

Some people seem to be obsessed not just with with controlling others, but actively putting them down, disempowering them.  Preventing them from being real. Some who do this are full on narcissists,but many others just use narcissistic patterns. That can still cause lots of damage if you’re on the receiving end.

Ask for my free book on NBP (Narcissistic Behaviour Patterns)

Site search page  Go to far right Navigation bar

For each free book please E-mail:

BUT please make each book request a single e-mail with the book title in the subject line. Because I cannot respond to a request such as  “please send me the free book”  or “all your free books” There are many different titles and each free book needs its own explanatory e-mail

Skype or Zoom  Because of the time differences we can only connect after we have confirmed a day and a time for our talk together. Always free for the first 20 minutes or more.

E-mail me


I can be contacted on  
+61. 7 3261 2882 (international)
07 3261 2882 (from within Australia)

Cell phone +61.414 570 016

0414 57 00 16  (from within Australia)

Being the “Real Me”

The Skills, the Techniques, the Art of  Being your true Self - the Real Me, who you really are and who you were always meant to be